PART 3
Mulan: Okay, okay, how 'bout this? Ahem, excuse me,where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have one too. They'revery manly and tough . I'm working on it. Who am I fooling? It's going to take a miracle toget me into the army.
Mushu : Did I hear someone ask for amiracle!? Let me hear you say aye!
Mulan : Ahhhhhh.
Mushu: That's close enough.
Mulan : Ghost.
Mushu: Get ready Mulan your serpentine salvation is at hand. For I havebeen sent by your ancestors-- to guide you throughyour masquerade. C'mon, you're gonna stay you'regonna work. Heed my word, 'cause if the army finds outthat you are a girl, the penalty is death.
Mulan: Who are you?
Mushu: Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls. I am the powerful, thepleasurable, the indestructible Mushu! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh?
Mulan: Ah, my ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that tongue thing .
Mulan: You're uh...
Mushu: Intimidating? Awe inspiring?
Mulan : Tiny.
Mushu : Of course. I'm travel size for yourconvenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright. Down Bessy. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can seestraight through your armor. Ow. All right, that's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family. Make a note of this. Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Dis-
Mulan : Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. I've never done thisbefore.
Mushu: Then you're gonna have to trust me. And don't you slap me no more, weclear on that? . All right. Okey dokey, let's getthis show on the road. Cri-Kee, get the bags . Let's move it heifer.
Mushu : Okay thisis it, time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feetapart, head up ...and strut 2, 3, break itdown, 2, 3 and work it, Beautifulisn't it?
Mulan : They're disgusting.
Mushu: No, they're men. And you're going to have to act just like them, sopay attention.
Tattoo Soldier : Look, thistattoo will protect me from harm.
Ling : I hope you can get your money back.
Mulan: I don't think I can do this.
Mushu: It's all attitude. Be tough like this guy here .
Yao : What are you looking at?
Mushu: Punch him, it's how men say 'hello.'
Chien-Po: Oh Yao, you made a friend.
Mushu: Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that.
Yao: Wu hoo hooooo. I'm going to hit you sohard it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
Chien-Po : Yao, relax and chant with me. Yaaaaaaa Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa. Yao: Ya Mi Ah To Fu Da.
Chien-Po: Feel better?
Yao : Yeah. Aaaaa, you ain't worth my time chicken boy.
Mushu : Chicken boy!? Say that to my face ya limp noodle!
Yao: Oh, sorry Ling. Hey!
Ling: You're dead. Oh, there he goes.
Mulan: Hey guys.
General Li : The Huns have struck here, here and here. I will take the main troops up tothe Tung Shao Pass and stop Shan-Yu before he destroys this village.
Chi Fu: Excellent strategy, Sir. I do love surprises, Ha ha, ha, ha.
General Li: You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu believes you're ready, you will join us...Captain.
Shang: Captain?
Chi Fu: Oh, this is an enormous responsibility, General. Uh, perhaps a soldier with more experience--
General Li: Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an impressivemilitary lineage. I believe Li Shang will do an excellent job.
Shang : Oh, I will. I wont let you down. This is, I mean, I... yes sir.
General Li : Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City. I'llexpect a full report in three weeks.
Chi Fu : And I wont leave anything out.
Shang : Captain Li Shang, Hmmm, leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time. Heh, heh, heh, heh.
Chi Fu: Most impressive.
General Li: Good luck Captain.
Shang : Good luck, Father.
Chi Fu : Day one.
Shang : Soldiers!
All Recruits : He started it!
Shang : I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!
Mulan: Sorry, Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that. You know how it iswhen you get those, uh manly urges and you just have to kill something , fix things, uh, cookoutdoors.
Shang: What's your name?
Mulan : Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh--
Chi Fu : Your commanding officer just asked you a question.
Mulan: Uhh, I've got a name. Huh. And it's a boys name too.
Mushu : Ling, How 'bout Ling?
Mulan : His name's Ling.
Shang: I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours.
Mushu: Try, uh, ahh, Chu!
Mulan: Ah Chu.
Shang: Ah Chu?
Mushu: Gesundheit. He He, I kill myself.
Mulan : Mushu.
Shang: Mushu?
Mulan: No.
Shang: Then what is it!
Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growing up!
Mulan: It's Ping.
Shang: Ping.
Mushu: Of course Ping DID steal my gir-
Mulan: Yes, my name is Ping.
Shang: Let me see your conscription notice. Fa Zhou, *the* Fa Zhou?
Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan: Um, he...doesn't talk about me much.
Chi Fu: I can see why, the boy's an absolute lunatic.
Shang : Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. Andtomorrow, the real work begins.
Mushu : You know, we have to work on your people skills.
